Facing Our Gethsemanes
Have you ever found yourself alone with God when facing the most important trial of your life? This is a Gethsemane experience, when we profoundly struggle to say, “Nevertheless, not my will, but Thine, be done.” Jesus Christ was in Gethsemane when He battled within, knowing the time of his death was at hand. He was in agony of spirit, in His humanity, asking His Father for another way than the cross.
His specific prayer is recorded in the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, and Luke:
“Going a little farther, He fell face down and prayed, ‘My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me. Yet not as I will, but as You will.’” Matthew 26:39 BSB
“And he said, ‘Abba, Father, all things are possible unto thee; take away this cup from me: nevertheless not what I will, but what thou wilt.’” Mark 14:36 BSB
“Father, if You are willing, take this cup from Me. Yet not My will, but Yours be done.” Luke 22:42 BSB
When everything within Him did not want to face what He knew the Father had foretold was ahead for Him, He poured out His heart to His Father. He desired the place He had with the Father before He was born as a man and required assurance that this would be the result of His death. Jesus set all that He desired aside with either the word yet or nevertheless. Jesus was saying to the Father, “Disregard all I just said, if it must be this way.”
Jesus knew His Father could deliver Him in an instant. Did He not say that He could call, and a myriad of angels would rescue Him? But His great heart of obedience, His understanding of the Father’s plan, His love for all, led Him to commit to Father God’s will. Gethsemane means “oil press”, where surrender to God’s will presses out the self-life. Jesus did not leave that time of prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane the same way He went into it.
Jesus, the Pattern Son, went to Gethsemane right before He was to be arrested and condemned to die on the cross. He asked His disciples several times to wait and pray with Him, but they were tired and fell asleep. Father God did not immediately lift the agony from His soul. Three times He went to pray, talking with His Father about it. God refused Him, but His feelings, His soul realm of human mind, will, and emotions, did not rule Him.
Jesus was strengthened to endure the path before Him with this time of intense prayer with His Father. He never said He would not obey. He just asked the Father if there was another way to accomplish what God intended, if this cup of sorrow and horrendous pain He was to drink could in any way bypass Him. How humanly alone our Lord must have felt!
Luke gives the most complete account of His most difficult time in Gethsemane:
“Now when He arrived at the place, [Gethsemane], He said to them, ‘Pray that you do not come into temptation.’ And He withdrew from them about a stone’s throw, and He knelt down and began to pray, saying, ‘Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me; yet not My will, but Yours be done.’
Now an angel from heaven appeared to Him, strengthening Him. And being in agony, He was praying very fervently; and His sweat became like drops of blood, falling down upon the ground. When He rose from prayer, He came to the disciples and found them sleeping from sorrow, and He said to them, ‘Why are you sleeping? Get up and pray that you do not come into temptation.’ Luke 22:40-46 NASB
He had just told the disciples two days before that the time when He would be crucified was close at hand. He said this right before the Last Supper. During the Passover meal, He identified Judas as the traitor. Revealing Judas as Jesus’ betrayer was another blow to this close group of His faithful followers. They had gone through tremendous experiences together, learning and then ministering the words and the gifts of Jesus as He commissioned them to do.
Together, the disciples saw the crowds swell and then diminish, the favor and esteem reduced to hatred and enmity for their Master. Jesus well knew the upcoming period of time would test them to their limits and wanted them to pray for strength as well. He also knew they would be much more vulnerable after His arrest than any of them anticipated. He urged them to pray that they would not come into temptation, but they did not believe they would betray their Lord.
The disciples had been sorrowing about everything that had so recently and dramatically changed. Jesus understood that. As these crucial events unfolded before the disciples, however, it was not just Peter who denied Jesus three times to others. All of the disciples fled in fear during His arrest. How terrifying it must have been to witness the Roman soldiers and the angry crowd stirred up by the Jewish leaders of the time. The scripture records:
“At that time [of Jesus’ arrest] Jesus said to the crowds, ‘Have you come out with swords and clubs to arrest Me as you would against a man inciting a revolt? Every day I used to sit on the temple grounds teaching, and you did not arrest Me. But all this has taken place so that the Scriptures of the prophets will be fulfilled.’
Then all the disciples left Him and fled.’” Matthew 26: 55-56 NASB
He was truly alone at the darkest hour of His life. He understands when we are alone in our darkest hours. Jesus knew the joy that was set before Him, but still had to go through being betrayed, arrested, whipped, ridiculed, and beaten before dying a shameful and pain-filled death on the cross. He knew what He would be facing and also knew all would abandon Him, but He had been given strength to endure at Gethsemane.
Matthew’s account of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane varies from some aspects of Luke’s account:
“Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and told His disciples, ‘Sit here while I go over there and pray.’ And He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee with Him, and began to be grieved and distressed. Then He said to them, ‘My soul is deeply grieved, to the point of death; remain here and keep watch with Me.’
And He went a little beyond them, and fell on His face and prayed, saying, ‘My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will.’ And He came to the disciples and found them sleeping, and He said to Peter, ‘So, you men could not keep watch with Me for one hour? Keep watching and praying, so that you do not come into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.’
He went away again a second time and prayed, saying, ‘My Father, if this cup cannot pass away unless I drink from it, Your will be done.’ Again He came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy. And He left them again and went away and prayed a third time, saying the same thing once more.
Then He came to the disciples and said to them, ‘Are you still sleeping and resting? Behold, the hour is at hand and the Son of Man is being betrayed into the hands of sinners. Get up, let’s go; behold, the one who is betraying Me is near!’” Matthew 26:36-46 NASB
Both accounts report that Jesus told them to pray, then left His disciples so that He might pray the more earnestly to His Father. They fell asleep instead. They did not have the strength to stay alert and pray to stay out of temptation. Jesus doesn’t bother them the third time, but it’s hard to tell whether He was chastising or warning them with these two accounts. He does show compassion in recognizing their exhaustion from sorrow, wanting to be with their Lord in spirit, but their flesh is too weak.
Since then, it is a frequent, even casual quote for people to say, “Well, the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Our flesh is weak and cannot accomplish the will of God. Jesus coming in the human flesh of a man illustrates this, particularly in His Gethsemane experience. At no other time does our Lord talk to the Father about desiring to avoid what God wanted Him to do. He is our example when Father God brings us to our Gethsemanes, those situations where what is required of us is something we dread and do not want to go through.
God knows what is in our hearts, and we can be assured, as Jesus was, that He hears us. We can identify with the disciples when we assume we will never lose our faith and trust in what God is doing. Then our own Gethsemane experience comes upon us. For most of us, it is not a life and death matter, not comparable to what Jesus went through, though there are Christians, the past great martyrs as well as those currently in great persecution for their faith, who have and still suffer and die for their Lord.
It is most comforting to know that when we are in agony about facing something that God has brought us to in our walk with Him, a critical crossroad in our life, that we, too, can pour out all of our feelings to our Father. When we fully submit our will to the Father’s will, we, too, leave our times of desperate prayer changed as well, with His strength girding up our submission to the Father.
Christians, those called and chosen of the Lord, recognize and learn from the pattern Jesus set forth. When we are to endure something that God clearly requires of us or has brought us to, but we dread, hate, or even have agony about, only the spirit of Christ within us can strengthen us to obedience. As we persist in prayer as our Lord and Master did, we come to know:
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13 NKJV
The struggle is our soul’s will versus God’s will for us. This does not necessitate a change in our emotions. Obedience submits the will. The emotions follow as God takes over. We may not yet see all of our flesh being swallowed up by the spirit of Christ within us, but we have faith that what He promises, He will accomplish. He may bring immediate peace with our surrender. At other times, we continue to struggle with our emotions about the matter, but our surrendered will steadfastly holds us in Him.
It is the will of our eternally faithful Friend that sustains us in the path of obedience. We are enabled to have the faith of Abraham, though we may not see the outcome:
“Therefore, the promise comes by faith, so that it may rest on grace and may be guaranteed to all Abraham’s offspring—not only to those who are of the law but also to those who are of the faith of Abraham. He is the father of us all. As it is written: ‘I have made you a father of many nations.’
He is our father in the presence of God, in whom he believed, the God who gives life to the dead and calls into being what does not yet exist. Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as he had been told, ‘So shall your offspring be.’” Romans 4:16-18 BSB
Jesus was in agony about fulfilling the plan of God. It is no surprise that we confront these same times as our walk deepens with Him. Our Gethsemane experiences appear in yielding to God’s will about what we want or desire, resisting or even dreading the predicted outcome. It’s the way we learn the harder lessons of trust that He knows best, even though we cannot see that. We need to stay in God’s school until we have the faith necessary to believe all that we know.
We believe every bit of what God has promised will come to pass, regardless of whether we now see it. This is faith. In that we are true children of Abraham who believed for what he could not see.
“I will lead those who are blind by a way they have not known, in paths they have not known I will guide them. I will turn darkness into light before them and uneven land into plains.
These are the things I will do, and I will not leave them undone.” Isaiah 42:16 NASB
We cannot know all the paths God has for us and that is a good thing. There are periods in any Christian’s life that, had we known what was coming as Jesus did, it would become too difficult to face. We enjoy it when the Lord gives us a glimpse of His specific good future for us, but it is not so enjoyable when He gives us a sense of impending suffering or the denial of a strong desire we have.
When a Gethsemane experience comes into our lives, these are severe seasons of testing. The afflictions of life come to test us with those we love who suffer and die, when we long for a partner, a child, a release from disease, pain, loss, and suffering that is denied. All of Jesus’ followers experienced this. Surrender to the Lord’s will brings much affliction to our flesh at such times. But truly yielding our will to His also brings acceptance to what is or will be rather than what we so very much want, desire, and even believe that we need.
As we practice surrender, we eventually yield our will more rapidly to His will as we continue our walk with Him. Surrender, however, is sharply different from giving up in resignation. It may be a stage we pass through, the best we can offer the Lord on our way to full surrender. It’s when we conclude that we cannot control the outcome, that it is beyond our ability to change it, and God seems to be unwilling to do so. Giving up is not true, full surrender to God and His plan.
When we give up in defeat rather than faithfully surrender to what the Lord decrees, it may sound something like “Ok, God, have it Your way. I will just stay miserable and depressed, but you are God, and I’m not.” It is a start to surrender, a recognition of Who is in charge, though grudgingly given. With the full yielding of our soul, our mind, will, and emotions, we stop trying to avoid what is necessary in God’s plan for us. We stop bargaining with God, to face it, deal with it, and truly accept it.
Following such surrender, the deep peace of God within comes to abide. We trust God will give us what we need to endure, to go through rather than avoid what is before us. As the saying goes, “What God brings us to, He will bring us through”. We no longer pursue ideas or methods to keep His will from happening, seeking and searching for other paths to get what we want. We recognize that we have already surrendered to Him as our Lord and Savior. We belong to him, so we give up trying to make it happen, with or without His blessing.
Obedient saints confront outcomes that are dreaded, that we’d much prefer to avoid. Frequently this can be asking, hoping, or praying for physical life for others or ourselves. Dearly-held dreams that are human desires but not meant for us are also crucified in a Gethsemane experience as we yield to His will. These are times when God’s answer is no. Surrender is our sacrifice.
The questions and feelings we bring before the Lord are similar to His Gethsemane prayer, though we cannot fathom the deep agony Jesus faced at that time. There are many natural human desires —to have a secure home and income, to be safe and well-loved, and to stop going through the same trials that never seem to resolve on our behalf. Sometimes we feel like the horse running a race to get to the reward of winning, only to see it denied again and again.
Discouragement sets in, even despair when we do not see God’s answers in our time frame or seemingly even in our lifetime here on this earth. But His peace arrives only through surrendering to what is, what His will ordains, regardless of our desires. We rest in the scriptures of the promises He has given:
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 NASB
Here is God’s promise that the eventual outcome of our spiritual lives is a hopeful, not despairing, future. Any Gethsemane experience of agonizing over obedience to Him is a test of faith and obedience. Saints who come to these spiritual turning points believe that God is able to either fulfill their heart’s desire or deliver them from the torment of wanting something God has denied them. He intends to bring us to a state of peace that seems impossible during our struggles.
Momentarily, our faith is weak as we find it difficult to trust that God has good things planned for our future. When we accept that God’s plan does not include what we are seeking Him for, like Jesus, we are strengthened to accept that His will is not ours. Such Gethsemane experiences are deep spiritual lessons from God. While others may not all fall asleep like the disciples, no one but God is always with us in these dark, lonely times, when our souls are agonizing about what lies ahead.
God takes us through such times of sorrow and grief that are common to man. He rarely takes us out of them, though He may deliver us in ways we would not choose. Our prayers become pleas for patient endurance to accept His decision. He can take the pain of loss, of denial, of the ending of hope, from us. Then we are in His rest, regardless of the outcome. Gethsemane experiences are a crisis, a turning point in our walk of faith. Though it might seem that turning points in our walk would come primarily from peak spiritual experiences, times of acute struggle more often bring further understanding, refinement, and commitment to God’s ways.
Gethsemane experiences mature us in ways that other trials and challenges cannot. They strike at our most passionate desires for this life. They are necessary to learn more about our God, to become mature sons and daughters in His kingdom. Many of the Lord’s people in the Bible waited for years for the fulfillment of God’s promises to them, and the suffering of their souls is written there. These accounts reveal that the outcome of a Gethsemane experience can also be a yes, because it is part of God’s plan for us.
Those things we struggle with in our Gethsemane times may require years of waiting on the Lord, though we have His assurance that our desires will be fulfilled. What God promises will happen but the timing is still His—unless we take matters into our own hands. We can be most miserable during this wait, especially when we have a very strong will to have what is being denied. Or we can learn to wait with peace and faith in our Father as Jesus did.
When waiting without knowing what God plans specifically for our lives, when we are walking blind into our future, it can be most troubling indeed! But we will wait, either in distress or in the peace of God that passes understanding. These are the times in our walk when we learn to rest and trust like never before. When we yield it all, seeking Him with a whole heart, He can grant His peace and trust in the waiting regardless of outcome.
A very important lesson during Gethsemane experiences is learning, really knowing, that God loves us. Jesus had heavy feelings, with much weighing on His heart. He actually had many no’s from Father God that most of us take for granted: no wife, no children, no fixed abode, no always-faithful friends. Jesus took it all to the Father, who will send angels to strengthen us as He did our Lord. He never doubted that the Father loved Him and all would unfold according to God’s will.
Jesus did not pretend to be a happy martyr in Gethsemane. Neither should we. Jesus did not want to have to do it—who would? But there was no rebellion in His heart as there may be in ours. He was well-practiced in doing the will of His Father. Jesus always did the Father’s will. He knew God is faithful and most able to answer surrendered prayer by granting it or showing another path, a better way for our lives to unfold.
God knows the end from the beginning, the unexpected changes in our future circumstances that we cannot know, unable to plan ahead of time. It is easy to look back and be grateful for how He skillfully and perfectly planned things out, even if, at the time, we were angry, resentful, or even pouting about the matter. As most of us have done one time or another, we may continue to fret and fuss, complain and even become depressed and bitter. God knows these things are in our hearts and will help us as we are learning full surrender to Him, no matter how long it takes.
When we desperately want something that He is not granting, God is burning out the dross within us. He knows what we’ve been waiting for, asking for, knocking for. The issue is this: the very thing we most want is becoming more important to us than the Lord is, an idol in our lives. He sees the longing and even desperation in our hearts—that we believe what we desire is most important, if not essential. But He will have no other gods before Him, as He states many times in the Bible.
“Let there be no strange god among you, nor shall you worship any foreign god.” Psalms 81:19 AMP
Strange, foreign gods were always an issue with the Israelites. They were surrounded by those who worshiped idols and kept falling into this familiar but grievous sin. We are also surrounded by things that others idolize. What is an idol but an object of worship, something or someone we adore? We can certainly identify idols in our present society, most of which God does not prioritize. We must learn to surrender, waiting peacefully for His answers for us.
What people love to have and love to do can grow into taking more and more of our focus, time, and investment. More than a few of us Christians have had desires in our hearts at some point that somehow became more important than the Lord within us. What we believe is essential to our life and happiness definitely is not essential if it is not God’s will or His timing for us. Regardless of the outcome, the path of life is to surrender our desires to the Lord.
While in our Gethsemane experience, however, disturbing human thoughts flood our minds. This is most likely to occur when our struggle is with a common desire for a good thing that other Christians seem to have easily received: “God, don’t you love me enough to grant me what is so very important to me? How come you allow others to have [children, good health, healing, a life partner, a loving, stable family, a long life, success, esteem, wealth, beauty, etc., etc.] but do not grant this to me?”
Such thoughts, while all too humanly understandable, risk anger with the Lord Himself. God knows when we are angry with Him and loves us anyway, but we put this barrier between us so we cannot connect with our Father to receive what we truly need. God has a plan for our lives and does know how to listen to His people who are in anguish before Him. But this affliction is to our flesh, our earthly natures that cannot enter into His kingdom.
Only God sees in our hearts to know what our primary motives are. Jesus understandably did not want to go through the suffering He knew was to come. We can comfort ourselves that, though we suffer with Him, most of us will never have the agony He brought to the Father at Gethsemane. Never was anything more important than Jesus’ submission to the cross. It was the hardest test of Jesus’ earthly life, and we may never know what all was in His heart as he beseeched the Father in Gethsemane.
Everyone’s Gethsemane experience is different because we each have our own most important desires of our hearts for which we petition God. When we pass these tests, not surprisingly, they often yield the richest of spiritual rewards. We may not be granted what we wanted, but we are empowered to better face sudden threats of painful loss and times of adversity. We can be like Him in both surrender and the resurrection of a new beginning that He works within.
As a result of Jesus’ obedience, His surrender at Gethsemane, the whole plan of God was revealed and changed for all:
“Join me in suffering, like a good soldier of Christ Jesus. This is a trustworthy saying: ‘If we died with Him, we will also live with Him; if we endure, we will also reign with Him’”. 2 Timothy 2:3;11-12 BSB
While our decisions are not equally impactful for others, God does rely on people to carry out His will on earth as it is in heaven. We don’t know what the cost of our desires will be in what we are called to do, but He does. My own Gethsemane experience was about a lifelong desire to have a child. I was by no means instantly obedient to laying this down for whatever God called me to do. Unfortunately, it took years of misery, even bitterness, until I was able to yield this to the Lord.
Coming to the point of true surrender meant giving up any right I thought I had to be a mother if it would not allow me to fulfill His will for my life. What I ultimately asked for and was granted was peace, regardless. The sharp pain of being barren while others, even those who did not want children, became mothers was gone. Through His word, God showed me He was in charge of who has children, if, when, and how. For Sarah, Rachel, and Hannah, God closed their wombs.
It was not a man I was dealing with but God Almighty. I am reverent enough not to insist on my own way in such an important matter, though some urged this erroneous path. After years of struggle and a significant change in circumstances, I was granted great peace through surrender. I finally knew I would be ok remaining childless, could live a fulfilled life and have a blessed future, if that was His will. This is peace that no one on earth can give.
What eventually forever changed in me was the truth that God was not denying me a child because He did not love me. His peace is worth more, lasts longer, and is a treasure worth more than anything. But what a battle raged between my soul and His spirit for far too long! The lessons I learned through those years of struggle made a permanent change in my spiritual walk with the Lord.
Others’ Gethsemane experiences may be different, but God is faithful in providing the strength and peace to go through them all. Jesus left that time of prayer in the garden of Gethsemane strengthened to do the Father’s will, and so can we. Jesus submitted to what came upon Him without a word of protest or defense of self, as we can also do through Christ. Sometimes, as God did with Abraham in telling him to sacrifice Isaac, his only child, God lets us know we have passed the test and then releases us from it.
Shortly after my surrender and peace, God made me to know, confirmed by a prophet, that I would have a child, a son. I was surprised and pleased, but valued even more the peace given before the promise. Circumstances changed, and Rich and I had our wonderful son, Chris, when I was 40, and he was 41. At least I was not as old as Sarah when the Lord gave her and Abraham their son of the promise, Isaac!
This may be nothing like your Gethsemane experience, but it was what God dealt with me about. I wish I had been able to handle it more spiritually, more maturely, but it seemed to be the best I could do. There are other Gethsemane times when God said no to me, such as the death of my brother at age 39, when the Lord eventually comforted my heart in the loss, but this was the biggest battle because it was what I most wanted.
Father God knows what is required for the future of His plan. He always knows the end from the beginning and brings us to that place where we can trust Him in all things. Remaining single when a Christian desires to have a life partner, experiencing people we love and are praying for die rather than live, seeking physical health and release from affliction that is slow to come or never does, periods of suffering and loss with changes, even betrayals in our work, home, and country—all are trials we go through on the path to spiritual growth.
“I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace. In the world, you have tribulation and distress and suffering, but be courageous [be confident, be undaunted, be filled with joy];
I have overcome the world [My conquest is accomplished, My victory abiding.]” John 16:33 AMP
That this world can never bring anything but temporary peace is increasingly evident. The Gethsemane experience may be about any trial facing us in this life, with one common to all: it will be the very hardest thing for us to lay down, to surrender to God’s plan instead of our own. Perhaps you cannot relate to what tested me the most, but Jesus can. Jesus Christ our Lord has already been through it all, so He knows.
“For we do not have a High Priest who is unable to sympathize and understand our weaknesses and temptations, but One who has been tempted [knowing exactly how it feels to be human] in every respect as we are, yet without [committing any] sin.” Hebrews 4:15 AMP
Jesus knows. He is at the right hand of the Father, ever interceding against the enemy of our souls. We can do everything required of us because He is our strength within. We are comforted in all ways by His spirit. We come out victorious, just as He did in the resurrected life given by the Father to Him for us.. We can trust that we are stronger, better, more obedient, more like Him, when we emerge from the cocoon of a Gethsemane experience to soar in the heavenlies free of any weight that has held us back.
Times of adversity bring the most suffering to our human nature, resulting in the greatest change in our character. It is all part of His preparation for what He has called us to do in this life. While we prefer the times of blessing and peace, times of refreshing in the spirit, these do not create the big changes in our hearts that times of affliction and struggle produce. It was true for Jesus, and when we want to be like Him, it must be true for us. We can wish it weren’t so, but Father God planned it this way:
“It was good for me to be afflicted, that I might learn Your statutes.” Psalms 119:71 BSB
God’s plan is always the best, no matter how difficult it may seem, how weak our flesh may be in the matter. Looking back, we are grateful to see how God’s plans unfolded for us for our good. Some dearly held dreams for our lives are desires that God Himself has placed in our hearts and are eventually granted. Others need to be rooted up, burned up by God’s fiery presence within, so these fleshly desires do not hinder our walk with God and the calling He has destined for us.
We must be free to fulfill what we have been called and chosen to do. There are things Father God requires of us that we must do, just like Jesus did. He always enables us to do what He requires. We will have His peace and strength to go through it. No one wants a Gethsemane experience, but most Christians who go on to know the Lord and His ways will have them.
It’s time to consider anything we hold on to in our hearts, even those good things that we long for, as matters that God would have us yield to Him. He will have a people called by His name who do not put anything above Him. When we surrender all, He makes it so. Does He not remind us that He has overcome the world so that we can be of good cheer while in it? So, we sing:
“Nothing can happen outside of His will. Trust in His love, be patient. Hold still. The clouds will all vanish, the sun again shine, if you will make the Father’s will thine.” Author unknown