Forgiveness Pt. 2: Forgiveness vs. Consequences

Understanding the process of forgiving someone includes distinguishing between forgiveness and the consequences of human actions. There may be a range of outcomes following offenses to God and man, regardless of being forgiven. We suffer consequences from our own behavior—from emotional discomfort to loss of love, relationship, trust or esteem. We may suffer a fracture in our relationship with the Lord as we struggle with God’s ways.

Consequences are up to God and His justice is certain. God does not change His standards but He does look at the heart and surely knows when true repentance is there. It’s sad to have someone be forgiven by God while we continue blaming that person! Confusion also comes from believing that forgiveness erases consequences. We want to be sure there are consequences and may go about insuring they happen rather than waiting for God. Then our forgiveness is conditional, depending on punishment, rather than freely given.

God allows natural consequences or even initiates them despite His forgiveness of our sins. Thankfully, we do not get all the consequences we deserve when God forgives us. Forgiveness is truly a heart condition that God works within us for the forgiver’s benefit..His justice and mercy take care of the length and severity of the consequences. Sometimes it is but a brief period, a smaller cost. But at other times, the offender may suffer permanent loss.

King David is an excellent example of God’s forgiveness – how His judgment in mercy is redemptive—as well as consequences. David saw Bathsheba, a beautiful married woman bathing on her roof. He wanted her and he was the king, so he brought Bathsheba to him. Then she got pregnant by David while her husband Uriah, the Hittite, was away in battle. David was about to be exposed and held accountable.

If you are not familiar with this story, then you may be astounded at the lengths to which David went to carry out this very wrong act and then attempt a cover-up. He used deception and trickery with Bathsheba’s husband Uriah, one of David’s honorable and faithful men of war. He involved Joab, the leader of his army, in setting Uriah up to be killed in the frontline of battle. Somehow, David, this man after God’s own heart, lost awareness of God seeing it all.

Below is the account of David’s actions:

“One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof, he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful, and David sent someone to find out about her. The man said, ‘She is Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite.’

Then David sent messengers to get her. She came to him, and he slept with her. (Now she was purifying herself from her monthly uncleanness.) Then she went back home. The woman conceived and sent word to David, saying, ‘I am pregnant.’

So David sent this word to Joab: ‘Send me Uriah the Hittite.’ And Joab sent him to David. When Uriah came to him, David asked him how Joab was, how the soldiers were and how the war was going. Then David said to Uriah, ‘Go down to your house and wash your feet.’ So Uriah left the palace, and a gift from the king was sent after him.

But Uriah slept at the entrance to the palace with all his master’s servants and did not go down to his house. David was told, ‘Uriah did not go home.’ So he asked Uriah, ‘Haven’t you just come from a military campaign? Why didn’t you go home?’ Uriah said to David, ‘The ark and Israel and Judah are staying in tents, and my commander Joab and my lord’s men are camped in the open country. How could I go to my house to eat and drink and make love to my wife? As surely as you live, I will not do such a thing!’

Then David said to him, ‘Stay here one more day, and tomorrow I will send you back.’ So Uriah remained in Jerusalem that day and the next. At David’s invitation, he ate and drank with him, and David made him drunk. But in the evening Uriah went out to sleep on his mat among his master’s servants; he did not go home.

In the morning David wrote a letter to Joab and sent it to Uriah. In it he wrote, ‘Put Uriah out in front where the fighting is fiercest. Then withdraw from him so he will be struck down and die.’ So while Joab had the city under siege, he put Uriah at a place where he knew the strongest defenders were. When the men of the city came out and fought against Joab, some of the men in David’s army fell; moreover, Uriah the Hittite died.

Joab sent David a full account of the battle. He instructed the messenger: ‘When you have finished giving the king this account of the battle, the king’s anger may flare up, and he may ask you, ‘Why did you get so close to the city to fight? Didn’t you know they would shoot arrows from the wall? Who killed Abimelek, son of Jerub-Besheth? Didn’t a woman drop an upper millstone on him from the wall, so that he died in Thebez? Why did you get so close to the wall?’

If he [King David} asks you this, then say to him, ‘Moreover, your servant Uriah the Hittite is dead.’ When Uriah’s wife heard that her husband was dead, she mourned for him. After the time of mourning was over, David had her brought to his house, and she became his wife and bore him a son.

But the thing David had done displeased the Lord.” 2 Samuel 11: 1-27 NIV

Time after time, Uriah, the innocent husband, refused to do what David tried to trick him into doing. He was an honorable and committed soldier for King David. David talked with him face-to-face knowing he coveted and had bedded Uriah’s wife. David desperately needed Uriah to make love with Bathsheba, to conceal his sinfulness to be revealed by Bathsheba’s pregnancy. Bathsheba did love her husband and she mourned for him, but she had no say in what King David did.

God sent Nathan the prophet to deliver a corrective judgment to King David. The Lord had a skillful way of convicting David through Nathan. The prophet used a metaphor to reveal to David just how wrong he was. Nathan is also given words to remind David of all that God has done for Him. These words from God that Nathan said to David sound like an earthly parent’s “and after all I’ve done for you!” chastisement to a beloved but transgressing child.

The story continues:

“...he [Nathan] said, ‘there were two men in a certain town, one rich and the other poor. The rich man had a very large number of sheep and cattle, but the poor man had nothing except one little ewe lamb he had bought. He raised it, and it grew up with him and his children. It shared his food, drank from his cup and even slept in his arms.

Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal for the traveler who had come to him. Instead, he took the ewe lamb that belonged to the poor man and prepared it for the one who had come to him.’

David burned with anger against the man and said to Nathan, ‘As surely as the Lord lives, the man who did this must die! He must pay for that lamb four times over because he did such a thing and had no pity.’

Then Nathan said to David, ‘You are the man! This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul. I gave your master’s house to you, and your master’s wives into your arms. I gave you all Israel and Judah. And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more.

Why did you despise the word of the Lord by doing what is evil in his eyes? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his wife to be your own. You killed him with the sword of the Ammonites.” Samuel 12: 1-11 NIV.

And here are the consequences that God, through His prophet Nathan, would administer due to David’s actions:

“Now, therefore, the sword will never depart from your house, because you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own’ This is what the Lord says: ‘Out of your own household I am going to bring calamity on you. Before your very eyes I will take your wives and give them to one who is close to you, and he will sleep with your wives in broad daylight. You did it in secret, but I will do this thing in broad daylight before all Israel.’

This difference between forgiveness and consequences is critical to understand in our dealings with others and with the Lord. Forgiveness is a matter of the heart while consequences are God’s business. God’s perfect heart of the marriage of justice and mercy insures us of this. David was forgiven by God, though there were consequences in his personal life, but God kept His eternal promise to David about His future throne and rulership.

When we are the one needing forgiveness, we Christians can be very thankful that God’s mercy provides an escape from all that we might deserve. He also helps us endure any consequences coming our way. Because God looks at the heart, He knows who is truly repentant, even caught in a snare. He knows who is willing to allow Him to work an inner change.

In His mercy and justice, the wrongdoer may not suffer the consequences we think are equal to their behavior. God knows what each person needs for redemption, and His grace covers all. We all can recall many times that we did not get all we deserved for our choices and behavior. God is merciful and applies just the right amount of consequences needed, not just in the situation but to fulfill God’s purpose and calling for that individual.

That’s why some children seemingly live a charmed life, appearing to ‘get away with’ their actions while other children get caught every time. When the children of godly parents complain that their wrong actions are always found out by their parents, we thank the Lord for it. He exposes things that are dangerous and could bring harm to His children, from the little ones to the old.

God will reveal many actions that miss the mark, most especially if they are repetitive or put a child in danger. The calling of the child of Christians has a destiny that differs from those allowed to go their own way. It’s a good thing when your child complains that he or she always gets caught! It is a gift of love and an answer to prayer that Father God provides to train up our children in the way they are supposed to go, according to His plan.

The earlier promises God spoke to David, through Samuel, the prophet, came to be. All are completely fulfilled by David’s descendant, Solomon, and eventually, the Lord Jesus Christ:

“The Lord declares to you that the Lord himself will establish a house for you: When your days are over and you rest with your ancestors, I will raise up your offspring to succeed you, your own flesh and blood, and I will establish his kingdom. He is the one who will build a house for my Name, and I will establish the throne of his kingdom forever. I will be his father, and he will be my son.

When he does wrong, I will punish him with a rod wielded by men, with floggings inflicted by human hands. But my love will never be taken away from him, as I took it away from Saul, whom I removed from before you. Your house and your kingdom will endure forever before me; your throne will be established forever.” 2 Samuel 7:11-16 NASB

Even our Lord has boundaries, limits that He sets beyond which we are not allowed to go. It’s healthy to have boundaries in our relationships. There are times when a parent’s loving heart grieves with their child while administering discipline that results in loss. God also grieves for what He has to allow when we, His erring children, just don’t seem to get the message.

Though our Lord is always the same, yesterday, today, and forever, He does not treat us all the same in every circumstance. He knows what is needed to fulfill His calling in each of us. Hallelujah, He is always just and always merciful! We can absolutely trust and rely upon what He has done to work within us, reconciling us and our ways to Himself.

Forgiveness may be a challenge for us but it is easy for our tenderhearted, loving, and just God! His compassions never fail. The intent of God’s heart is always to fully and completely be in a relationship with us, sharing His great love. He will have compassion and mercy on our suffering. Jesus quotes from Hosea, the prophet when He states to the Jews of His time:

“But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” Matthew 9:13 KJV

There is not one of us, including His called and chosen, who is not a sinner, falling short of God’s standards. At the same time, when God loves us, He disciplines us:

“For the Lord disciplines and corrects those whom He loves, and He punishes every son [or daughter] whom He receives and welcomes to His heart...

All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.” Hebrews 12: 6;11-13 NASB

We learn to accept the training that the discipline of God brings. Oh, how the last part of this scriptural passage leaps out: “Do you mean, Lord, that I can go through trials over and over if I do not learn to be trained by them?” Most of us quickly pray to learn our lessons from what God has allowed. Sometimes we do learn; other times we may go around the mountain again.

In any adversity, an important question to ask and seek God for understanding is: “What are you trying to teach me? What lesson do I need to learn in this?” God is very efficient, never wasting any of our experiences and always desiring for us to learn from what He allows in our lives. Is that not redemptive justice—justice that redeems us from our sinful ways and attitudes that develop in our hearts?

God uses our life experiences to correct and deliver us whenever His people are caught in the snares of the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life. God knows the history and wounds of each of us and intervenes in a precise way like a diamond cutter knows just where to cut. That is quite different from our clumsy human interventions!

We may saw away at another person’s flesh, bludgeon others with angry words of condemnation or even use scripture as a weapon. These actions may be justified by the person as well intended, to help the other, but such treatment rarely creates a redemptive heart change. Instead, it creates discouragement or resentment. And we sure don’t enjoy it when someone decides to get their religious sword out and saw away at us!

Troubles in this life will surely come. We have enough to handle to pass the test! After we have passed it, learning our lessons, life will provide more and God will continue to use them for our growth in Him. We may wish it were not true, but nothing trains us quite like the pain of adversity. Mistakes equal learning, creating mature godly characters written in our hearts.

So, what are we to do with these things:

“Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as His children. For what children are not disciplined by their fathers? If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all…

therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. Make level paths for your feet so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.” Hebrews 12:7;12 NIV

While our Lord is always the same, yesterday, today, and forever, He does not treat us all the same in every circumstance. He knows what is needed to fulfill His calling in each of us.

Hallelujah, He is always just and always merciful! We can absolutely trust and rely upon what He has already done to work within us, reconciling us and our ways to Himself.